I am currently going through a Bible study by Beth Moore called “Stepping Up.” It goes through the Psalms of Ascent, which are about the pilgrimage to Jerusalem to worship God (basically getting closer to God). Through everything that has been happening the past few weeks I’ve felt really far from God and just haven’t had the desire to grow closer to Him at all, and I really haven’t had any desire to go to church, or to do anything at all. I’ve just really been unhappy about where I am. Spinning off of that thought, I haven’t been happy at church because I don’t feel like I’m growing there and I don’t feel encouraged by the people there anymore.
One of the points in the Bible study yesterday was that God has us go through seasons for a reason. We are in certain places because He wants to make a point to us about something. But even more importantly than that we are to praise Him and live for Him while we are in that place. The psalm we read was about praying for Jerusalem. I was really convicted to pray for my church because I hadn’t been doing that, and I honestly don’t think that I’ve ever prayed for any church that I’ve gone to. And that’s not how it should be, especially because I am one of the leaders in our children’s and youth ministries. I have been so caught up in myself and my own discomfort that I forgot to look around me and see how much I can be an encouragement to others.
I really want a change, and I am going to have to trust that through fervent prayers God will bring about the change in Him timing, exactly the way that He needs it to happen.