There have been a lot of changes in my life the past couple of weeks: I started attending yoga classes with my stepmom, which has been awesome! People have been leaving our office at work, I’m getting ready for classes to start back up, roommates are coming and going and switching rooms…there’s just been so much happening!
So with all the new changes and things that are probably going to cause me some stress this semester I decided to start running. I have a really great friend who has been running track for years who is teaching me a ton of stuff about running. He’s been getting me on a schedule this week, teaching me how to breathe properly, and how to maintain proper form.
This has not been easy in the least! The first day he had me out at the track just to see what my endurance level is; testing how much I can handle. I’m pretty sure I punched him several times because I felt he was pushing me too hard, but I’m thankful that he did. The next day he took me to a place up the road where there are hills. I hated him, myself, and the rest of the world on this day. The hills were terrible; I was out of breathe, struggling to keep my form, and exhausted. I wanted to cry, and honestly I did shed a tear or two.
The third day was much better. We did a warm up lap, stretched, and then I was told to complete a mile on the track on my own. I was able to complete 3 laps before my body started screaming for water, so I grabbed my water bottle, took a few sips while still continuing to move, and then I was off again.
Today we’re going to find a dirt or grass trail because the concrete is hurting my feet. I’m happy to say that I’m super excited about this and am really hoping that with my friends training and encouragement I’ll be able to make this a lifelong habit! And I’ll still be attending yoga during the week to help stretch out my body and do something that doesn’t cause so much wear and tear!
For 18 days I have had the opportunity to come to Georgia and see my family. I’ve gotten to put aside work and school and really have nothing to worry about while I’m here. It has been such a sweet relief after the summer I’ve had. God has been teaching me more about who He is and that I simply need to abide in Him. “Be still and know that I am God” is a verse that has stuck out to me more than anything. To be still is to put away all the things that distract us from being in God’s presence; to stop thinking about all the things that need to be done today or tomorrow, and sit before Him. During this time I am normally repeating all the names of God, His characteristics, and the things He has revealed about Himself to me. To sit before God and remember who He is is such a sweet time of peace and calmness.
Dear Readers, I’m learning that we all go through phases in our lives. One phase that I recently went through was a lack of motivation. This past semester was a huge struggle for me mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. I was lacking in motivation to do anything, to strive to do more than average. I felt worn out and simply wanted to stay in bed all day and sleep. And then I went through a huge struggle this past month and my eyes were opened to the fact that I was tearing myself apart. I was doing nothing good for myself and was being trapped by Satan’s lies. But God has been pulling at my heart to come back to Him, to lean on Him instead of running to other escapes. And now, I feel my motivation coming back. I feel motivated to exercise again, to get a head start on my summer classes and even my classes for the fall. I feel a desire to pray and read my bible again! Which is a wonderful feeling! I really just wanted to share with y’all how things are beginning to get better around here! Dear Alyssa, I miss you terribly and I hope I can make the drive down there again soon! Dear Hannah, I’ve really loved our talks the past couple of days and I’m really glad you’re back home again. I missed you, even though you were only gone for two weeks.
Dear Readers, today my stress levels will be put to the test. I have about 2.5 hours to move out of my room and into the room upstairs, which the previous roommates have not completely moved out of yet, because a new girl is moving into mine and Alyssa’s room sometime today. I have 2.5 hours because I have work at 12. Today is a test I do believe. Dear New Girls, I’m so so so sorry that the house is a mess. BUT the kitchen looks great! Dear Self, Keep Calm and Move On. (See what I did there? haha) Dear Alyssa, between the two of us we have WAY too many clothes. I’m so overwhelmed right now.
Oh and did I mention that I have moved every year for the past four years? I’m ready to keep a room for longer than a year. At least I’m staying in the same house this time, ha!
Dear Readers, life has thrown me a few curve balls in the last few weeks. Between school ending, starting a second job, getting ready for summer classes, and trying to maintain some semblance of a normal life, I have been losing my mind. Lets be real for a moment here and talk about how difficult it is to navigate life sometimes. Just when you think you’ve got everything all figured out you trip, fall, and suddenly find yourself at the bottom of a massive pit. And all you can think is “how did I get all the way down here?” You know what you need to do to get back up, but you’re having the hardest time of it and you just feel so lost and helpless. That is just a tidbit into my life. I’m terribly sorry for being a Debbie Downer, but I just needed to be honest for a moment. On the up side: I am successfully balancing two jobs and will begin my summer class on Monday, and I do think that this summer is going to be awesome!
Life isn’t easy. Life gets really tough sometimes and somehow we have to make it through another day. I got some really tough news this weekend regarding some family issues and as much as I want to lay in bed and cry all day I HAVE to get up and get through it. Satan throws some really sucky curve balls at us and we can’t dodge all of them. They can hit us right in the gut or they can hit us and open up an old wound. Either way, it hurts and it’s painful.
When I first got this news at home I did the first thing that came to mind: run. I got in my car and just drove out to the lake, sat in my car and bawled my eyes out for a good while. I like to think of myself as a pretty strong person, but Satan threw something at me that just broke me. I felt so hopeless.
And then I started looking at the lake, how the sunset was reflecting off of the water, how there were families out in their little boats having a grand old time, how there were ducks EVERYWHERE, and I was reminded that God is an amazing creator. I began to think about this study I’ve been doing on all the names of God in the Bible and one particular name came to mind: Adonai Yahweh, which means Sovereign Lord. This name emphasizes that God is sovereign over every single situation in life; the universe, nature, humans, politics, sin, salvation, EVERYTHING. AND THAT’S AMAZING.
Even my own life that seems so insignificant sometimes. But God cares about it and is in control of the chaos that happens.
I began to pray and thank God for all that He is. I prayed for healing and restoration. The Holy Spirit moved me to pray because I really just wanted to shake my fist at God and scream WHY? But instead I prayed. God is powerful and can do anything. I will trust in the fact that God uses for good what Satan means for evil. And that is where my peace comes from.
Life is tough, but God is a whole lot tougher.
Dear Body, you’ve been great the past couple of nights at the gym. I really didn’t think you’d be able to run for as long as you did that first night. I’m proud of you. Dear Contacts, I really need you to last me for at least two more weekends. I’m about to go on a road trip where we will be driving at night there and back. I need y’all to do your job and stop letting my eyes go blurry. I’d like my roommates and I to make it there and back safely. Dear Sena, I love having you as not only my boss, but as a friend and mentor. I’m so thankful for you. Dear Roommates, I am really praying that everything works out for this next year. Things have been crazy and hectic, but I know God will work everything out according to His will. It’s amazing that He cares about every single thing in our lives. Dear Texas Weather, it’d be really cool if you could warm back up. I would really like to be able to sit on my front porch again without being bitten by freezing cold wind. Thanks!