Over the past few weeks I have expressed that there have been a lot of changes happening in my life. One of the big ones that I realized tonight is that I have started working out consistently! I used to work out a ton and then I quit. And I missed it because I really enjoyed working out and watching my endurance build and my body become stronger.
The past few weeks, and really the past year has been really hard for me in a lot of areas. And feeling super insecure about my body is definitely something that I have been dealing with. Working out helps me to feel amazed at what my body can take in the gym and proud of how hard I can push myself. The other thing that really held me back was that I felt guilty that I was working out but Jacob couldn’t, and I know that made him sad. He never wanted me to not work out because of him, but Satan used that as a way to attack me and hold me down.
I am out from under that hold now and it has been so wonderful. And working out has really helped me cope with a lot of the things that have been going on. My emotions are kind of all over the place and between work and school I’m always running around. But exercise is a way for me to escape, to laugh it up with random people in the gym, a time for me and Alyssa to talk and encourage one another. It’s something that I have definite control over and I enjoy it so much. There is so much satisfaction in coming home all sweaty knowing that I did a good job.
It’s been my outlet and I think it will continue to be until God tells me to stop.